2009

Thank God that this year is nearly over.

Unfortunately though I have run out of faith and hope that the next year will be any better.

Does God really keep his promises?

Norwich

TGF the lovely day in Hemsby. TGF the lights in Holt. TGF not fighting with my brother. TGF just managing to keep busy and not cry in front of anyone. TGF the generous presents to whatever charity I decide on. TGF getting there safely on the old wheel.

My best Christmas present

TGF the hug on Christmas day.

The baby

TGF loving us enough to give us his little boy... to show him the very worst of human nature and to cause him more suffering than most can imagine. I'm sorry Dad for how badly we treated your son.
TGF forgiving us and giving us a way back to him.

TGF snow on the ground. TGF Pete G, an ex pupil.. now 19 and training to be Pastor Pete. Please bless him. TGF a certain organist making me laugh.

TGF hope that one day there will be light that breaks through the darkness.

Tell people

TGF getting a reply from Rev Nick. TGF having my own drum kit to go worship God with. Sorry neighbours.

Baa

TGF my film playing ok on the dodgy PC at church.

I'm still choosing to worship.. but I'm too sad to feel like I'm really celebrating what should be the best time of the year. It hurts so much that I'm not involved. Everything hurts so much.

How much longer God?

Things that work straight out of the box

TGF my new scanner.. that appears to work fantastically.. and will make some upcoming horrid jobs a whole lot quicker and easier.

Err

Difficult as just feeling so sad. I guess TGF last few jobs for christmas going well.. things finally arriving for collection at Tescos, um... I know I should be celebrating Jesus birth.. but I'm just a crap person whol lets God down all the time, and I just feel sad. TGF knowing that God knows how I feel and he understands.

What I think.. but better explained..

TGF the words of Rev. Nicholas Holtam, of St Martin in the Fields Church on the BBC4 programme 'A History of Christianity' ...

"The difficulty for us is, I think, the scriptures don't say anything about faithful same sex relationships. Therefore what's condemned in scripture isn't what we're dealing with now... I think the bible does have an answer.. what matters between human beings is loving, faithful, honest relationships"

Don't know what you've got...

TGF the couple of years that I had a best friend... who was there when I needed her... and was happy to make the time to hang out with me.

Hark?

TGF beautiful flute playing and 8 minute organ intros.

Let it snow..

TGF snow... and my fave christmas song.

TGF last year when I was involved in the carol concert. I miss drumming and singing and stuff.

Frosty

TGF the Grimethorpe Colliery Band and TGF nice photos from happy times in the snow.

Improvising at its best

TGF LEGO.. and bits of fence.. and what you can achieve with them with the aid of a Macbook :-)

Absorbed

TGF being able to get absorbed in something and momentarily be distracted from how horrible life really is (even if it is monopoly on my Mac, and I really should be doing my big project for church).

Blurry is better

TGF my awful eye sight. The Christmas tree at church looked even better.. from the back with no glasses.

TGF knowing he is still there however difficult it is to praise him.. TGF him still loving me even though I cannot see that he is a good and loving god right now.. some part of me hears what he keeps repeating but the rest of me has just given up and knows that this miserable little life of surviving each day with a more and more broken heart is all there is for me.

For once

TGF the printer working when I needed it to. TGF being able to get one major task ticked off in time.. now on with all the other projects I really don't have time for :-)

Maybe it'll be ok

TGF being calm about big stuff.. TGF how much I care about the important thing and how unbothered I am by little things these days. TGF Maggie being ok (second Staffie scare of the week). TGF being busy, but getting things done. TGF looking forward to a cosy bed... must go make my HWB hehehe.

Hungry Hippo

TGF looking after poor little Stewie. His operation went well and he was allowed home, all better, if a tad hungry and still full of anasthetic!

Not quite Rocky

TGF his help today at the TKD Uni champs. Won the individual sparring, and all my matches in the team event... still waiting to hear if we won the shield. TGF being old.. and choosing a bath and a hot chocolate instead of drinking at the union!

Good things come...

TGF the big brown box downstairs...

..cos this is what's inside it...


.. I was just checking its the right one! Now its back in the box waiting until I decide I'm allowed to really open it..