I seem to be praying this an awful lot at the moment. Almost as a mantra or as self talk to induce self control. Especially when other people are clearly desperately trying to lead me into temptation.
I was going to have a little rant about God yet again answering prayers by doing the opposite of what I ask for, but I’ve just read through a few of my previous blog posts and come across this quote, from one of the Inclusive Curch sermons... "I never lost faith in God – but I did wonder what he was up to sometimes". This more accurately describes how I feel about what is happening at the moment. On one hand I want to thank God for yet another blessing. On the other I want to scream at God for making things so difficult again, and why can’t things be simple, like they seem to be for others. why can’t I have a simple friendship? Why does it have to be a test in self control? Why does it have to always be the person who is completely unavailable?
Another bit of the sermon referred to telling the truth despite it being costly. In principle I agree that you should always do this. But I’ve also learned from the past, so now I am living in fear of the truth causing history to repeat itself. And that history has been extremely painful.
So... avoid temptation by avoiding completely and also avoid all the blessings that may be received? Tell the truth and suffer the cost? Or learn from experience, keep mouth shut and keep praying ‘lead me not into temptation’ and hope I learn to deal with it?
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