Wednesday 25th June: Some things I suppose I should thank God for. Really don't feel like it though. I want to scream and cry and ask God why he made me like this and why he put me into this hopeless life. Am just recalling a post from a few days ago.. and wishing that everybody would obey their heart sometimes, rather than listening only ever to what they can't do.
Today I guess I have to TGF it not raining on sportsday, for no-one getting hurt in the javelin competition. TGF not losing the plot so badly that I lost my job by ranting at a senior manager (although at least one person was proud of me for standing up for myself). TGF being able to stop crying and teach my lesson straight after. I should TGF scoring a goal at football, but am just so fed up at how useless I am at everything, and wonder why I bother putting myself through hell, I just can't do making friends.
I really should have posted my thoughts for yesterday last night. Right now I can't believe it even happened. Yesterday would have been TGF holding it together in the face of Year 9 girls when Chris really thought I would lose it. TGF the nightmare day at school finally ending. TGF someone friendly being at home waiting for me with a smile and a hug. TGF relaxing and reading. TGF a whole evening together. One day I hope that I would be able to TGF being able to be more open and honest in this blog. However, again that seems to be getting further and further away.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment