Now reading the transcript of the sermon I had missed during the lent series on Inclusive church, the one on sexuality.
Thoughts as I go...
.. I need to research OneBodyOneFaith
... I need to find and read books by Jim Cotter
... the phrase, repeated by the speaker, 'He told the truth and it was costly'. She is speaking about Jim telling his bishop the truth and losing his job. I know about the truth being costly. And I know about not speaking the truth, in order to protect others from the cost.. but then facing the cost of both the truth, and hiding the truth alone. I'm still wondering about the near future, and whether God wants me to tell the truth, or to go on hiding it.
..."In a church obsessed with power, here was another way. Authenticity."
I found a card the other day, from a friend when I left my old school, in a not good way. In the card she said that I was 'the most authentic person she knew'. Am I still authentic? I think so, and I think I'm probably more open about who I am. More comfortable with certain labels, and I've learned new labels that fit me better. I hope I haven't learned too many NT tricks, and hope I don't hide stuff or try to manipulate opinions of me. I'm not the best judge though I guess.
..."the church doesn’t just expect people to collude, it rewards them for doing so"
Wow... isn't that the truth. The church loves hiding the truth and the messiness of real life. It likes everything to fit nicely and present the right image. What happens though when the glass cracks...
..."the church isn’t especially even-handed in its discrimination"
also agreed.
..."How can we be prophetic voices to a society which is longing for the good news of healing and hope if we can’t even tell the truth about ourselves – individually or corporately?"
We can't. So maybe my calling is to be honest. To be up front about the truth about myself. But in the right way. We don't need to make a big thing of it. But equally there needs to be an element of visibility.
Had an interesting couple of conversations at school recently. One in the staff room at lunch in which coming out stories etc were swapped in the most uneventful way ever.. two people comfortable with laughing about life, happy with who we are. Another conversation with people in the office, who assumed that I was buying a house with a partner. After simply saying 'nah, just me'.. well, and parents.. I found myself pondering on the fact that they assumed I had a partner. I think they assumed female, and it was zero big deal. Which is great. But then I thought, how sad, that you assume I have a partner, and yet its not strange that I would have never mentioned them, or that you would ask.. or... Is is still the case of 'don't ask, don't tell'? Or are gay relationships less acceptable still in general conversation? others seem to talk about their partners all the time, why wouldn't I?
I know that school are/would be cool with it, and that most would probably be really happy for me if ever I found someone that could put up with me and the Lego that comes with me.. and I think that my church now would be cool with it too. None of my previous churches would. They tolerated me in a 'theoretically gay' way.. but to stand there worshipping next to a partner? No.
"God has been extraordinarily loyal, and inventive and compassionate"
That sounds like an awesome God to know.
"I never lost faith
in God – but I did wonder what he was up to sometimes"
Yeah!. That.
"natural boundary dweller" ... on the edges, always in a position to make good an escape. Thats where I'm happy too. But maybe its time to get pushed in.
...knowing the difference between serving the church and seeking the Kingdom. They are not the same and sometimes they go together, but sometimes they may be polar opposites. The trick is knowing which. ..."changing the institution'.. be part of the change you seek?!
..."If you, here, want to be affirming and accepting of people like me, then you need to make sure that no-one can mistake where you stand."
So, ASWHT, how do we do that?
How do I know I am safe? I think I got extremely lucky (or actually God's timing) that the time I decided to come back to church, and to try this one, was the few weeks that you had the Inclusive Church series. And actually the week that tackled the part of my identity and my outcast-ness that is actually on show.. my gender.. to the point of obviousness that a church leader felt they had to come and talk to me the second the service ended, before I could make good my escape. I also cannot tell you how MASSIVE the affirmation of faith during lent was. Here is a church full of people that could condemn me actually telling me I am safe here.
Since then? people's keenness to hear my story, my opinion, to get me involved, to not allow me to be a boundary dweller, to invite me to things. Seeing how others are accepted. Having women in charge. Some things make me laugh, in their overseen-ness to be accepting and affirming.. I love the effort that goes into calling me 'he'.
A task for the meeting and possibly the fete... How do I know I am safe here?
"But, in all of this, we need one another, and by that I mean all of us – I need you in my corner"
Yep. I guess that is the biggest thing in any institution or any group we try to be a part of ... knowing there is someone in my corner.
I KNOW that is true here at AS, that there are people in my corner. At my previous church I was really encouraged that two people told me that if ever the poo hit the fan.. they were in my corner. I think it was framed as we will go with you when you're asked to leave', rather than we will fight to change the church.. but its good knowing you've got backup.
Yeah!. That.
"natural boundary dweller" ... on the edges, always in a position to make good an escape. Thats where I'm happy too. But maybe its time to get pushed in.
...knowing the difference between serving the church and seeking the Kingdom. They are not the same and sometimes they go together, but sometimes they may be polar opposites. The trick is knowing which. ..."changing the institution'.. be part of the change you seek?!
..."If you, here, want to be affirming and accepting of people like me, then you need to make sure that no-one can mistake where you stand."
So, ASWHT, how do we do that?
How do I know I am safe? I think I got extremely lucky (or actually God's timing) that the time I decided to come back to church, and to try this one, was the few weeks that you had the Inclusive Church series. And actually the week that tackled the part of my identity and my outcast-ness that is actually on show.. my gender.. to the point of obviousness that a church leader felt they had to come and talk to me the second the service ended, before I could make good my escape. I also cannot tell you how MASSIVE the affirmation of faith during lent was. Here is a church full of people that could condemn me actually telling me I am safe here.
Since then? people's keenness to hear my story, my opinion, to get me involved, to not allow me to be a boundary dweller, to invite me to things. Seeing how others are accepted. Having women in charge. Some things make me laugh, in their overseen-ness to be accepting and affirming.. I love the effort that goes into calling me 'he'.
A task for the meeting and possibly the fete... How do I know I am safe here?
"But, in all of this, we need one another, and by that I mean all of us – I need you in my corner"
Yep. I guess that is the biggest thing in any institution or any group we try to be a part of ... knowing there is someone in my corner.
I KNOW that is true here at AS, that there are people in my corner. At my previous church I was really encouraged that two people told me that if ever the poo hit the fan.. they were in my corner. I think it was framed as we will go with you when you're asked to leave', rather than we will fight to change the church.. but its good knowing you've got backup.
No comments:
Post a Comment