Puddings and Prayer

Went to a 'Puddings and Prayer' meeting at church tonight. First we were asked to look at some images of Jesus and discuss ones we liked, or didn't or...  I chose one that looked a bit like Johnny from CMA, well, he looked like a lot of people I might bump into at a bike rally.. long hair and tattoos. I liked it BECAUSE he was a guy that I think was meant to look like a biker, or an outsider (long hair tattoo etc) but who actually I'm probably most comfortable around and am most likely to chat to about God. One could maybe draw a lot of conclusions from that, but I'm not going to right now.

I also chose an image that looked like a zombie Jesus, screaming and about to attack... that I really didn't like.. because it scared the crap out of me! Interesting that others didn't agree.

Next we discussed prayer. Some people gave very sensible answers about how they pray. One lady meditates, another guy said he ranged from 'through singing, to silence'. Some pray best when walking the dog. I agree, that or running through the woods or walking in mountains.

However, I wanted to say that my prayer ranges from silently waiting, and trying to concentrate but failing, through to sitting in the van screaming at God, ranting and shouting through tears and snot and awful language and real screams. That may not be the safest most christian answer, but its true. God gets told exactly how I feel about things sometimes. And a lot of the time, those feelings are deep and painful.

Most of my prayer is done while walking or cycling or driving. Out loud. Which does have the happy side effect of making me look like a complete nut, and has on occasion put the wind up people I didn't know were there. But I think a conversation, as though he is there beside me is how I naturally talk to God best. I often worry that I just don't get it with loving God, in my head and especially my heart. It feels like I seem to be missing something that others have, or have experienced. But still I choose to try, and God in the Shack concept, of persons that are there, wanting to listen, waiting for you to learn, seems to work for me.

I also learned that what I thought was a necklace I had bought in Uganda, and is usually modelled by a Stormtrooper....

Is in fact Rosary beads!

I'm not sure that I could do the traditional set of prayers that goes with them... but maybe my own version of a routine of prayer to go with the beads to focus the hands, might be useful.

TGF: ambrosia rice pudding and Pops (happy birthday pops).