Is that what inclusive means?

What does it mean to be welcomed at a church? What does it mean for a church to be inclusive?

Its not excluding someone one the basis of x, y or z. That's great. But what does welcome mean?

It's being allowed to be part of the congregation. But do churches consider that enough? Is it ok just to allow people to be part of the congregation, to attend services and events. On their terms.

Or does 'the church' only feel successful at 'including' someone if thejy are put onto several rotas and volunteered for things and become part of the 'backroom team' of the church?

How do I feel included? I guess I do feel more included and more sure of my welcome if I am involved in the work of the organisation/group/church. Its a good way to get to know people, a good way for people to know me and become accepted for who I am.

But.

Maybe I also just want to BE at church. I may eventually appreciate being asked to be involved. I may seek out becoming involved. But maybe I'm in a place where I just need to look forward to going to church, and not stress if I can't make it sometimes. I think maybe even in my own head I'm being contradictory. I want to feel needed and like my presence/help is wanted... but not pressured.

Maybe its because hard lessons have been learned in the past. You can be on every rota there is at a church (apart from flower arranging)... and yet when you eventually can't face being at church any more... not one person checks where and how you are when you send an apology and stop turning up. So I've learned not to over-estimate my importance. I know how easily I am replaced and how little I actually matter as a human being.

Does the church treat people differently based on their relationship status, or whether they have children? Are assumptions made about availability and willingness.... even a sense of duty or obligation based on this? In some other situations people have openly volunteered me for things on the basis that I’m single and don’t have kids. I understand that this means I won’t have to arrange childcare in order to do something, but it does not mean I do not have a life that is already so full of commitments (paid and unpaid) that I actually struggle to keep up, often fail to keep up and my own To Do list just gets longer and longer.

So... some interesting questions for people at the Fete, or if any more discussion groups ever happen at church... what does it mean to be included? Is there a level of included that can put people off? Is it ok just to come to church as and when you feel like it? Does the church have a set of criteria for classing people as included or as 'part of the team' or...

Bit muddled... not enough sleep this week.