The boys

Friday 28th Dec: TGF my Rat Babies. Am having another really good play with Twiga and Tembo. There is a relatively safe room here, so they get to run around and explore. They love it. They are such amazing climbers (although I did just have to help Twiga off the windowsill....he was giving me his er...Mum...Heeeeeelp! look...then ran off pretending he had meant to do that all along). I have shared my coffee with Tembo this morning and Twiga discovered that if he tries to climb up my back on the inside of my jammies (ie bare skin) I move and go eek.


Thurs 27th Dec: TGF really cool presents from Uncle Chalkie (he was fab and let me swap the DS for a PSP). If I disappear for hours I am prolly in a corner playing columns!

Wed 26th Dec: TGF nicely timed phone calls that get me out of the washing up!!!!...TGF bubble wrap.

Tues 25th Dec: TGF giving up his son. I know I wouldn't be able to part with someone I love, much less hand them over to be tortured and killed. But thank you for doing that. And TGF Jesus having the guts to complete the plan. TGF also Animal moments on the drums at the end of hymns!

Sing choirs of er...Angels?

Sunday 16th Dec: TGF being allowed to be in the choir for the Carol Service. Was the best time I have had at a Carol service in years. Hopefully no-one could hear me.

Saturday 15th Dec: TGF Heather and the work of Steps. TGF the Blue Knights and their cool bikes. TGF the Aspie Angel knowing I needed food.

Friday 14th Dec: TGF Aspie byes!!! hehe.

Thursday 13th Dec: TGF glorious sunshine in Leeds...some fantastic photos. TGF the AA for taking me on a lovely day out.

Ho Ho Ho!

Sunday 9th September: TGF the Santa Fun Run....

...and the Lufbra CU Nativity Team :-)

Amazon rules!

Saturday 8th December: TGF online shopping. Think thats it now...hope so...no bloomin money left. Especially after Jessops today. I guess TGF being able to save up for many birthdays and christmas' and get what you really really want.

Friday 9th December: TGF Mum's that put in so much effort for their kids 21st presents.

Thursday 8th December: TGF playing Wii games with Vicky.

Wednesday 7th December: TGF playing with Naomi then chilling out in my cosy room with a nice Christmas movie.

Unexpected answer to prayer

Mon 3rd Dec: TGF my new glasses. Unbelievably Specsavers got them in after just one day...was expecting my awkward prescription to take a week! All thanks to Alison's 'cheeky prayer' this morning. Its so cool being able to see again. And apparently I look cool too!
(no pun intended!!!)

Better than nothing

Sunday 2nd Dec: TGF glasses...however old...seems I needed a reminder at how much I should appreciate being able to see. TGF chocolate donuts for breakfast hehe.

Saturday 1st Dec: TGF all those who work to help people affected by AIDS. TGF the Elev8 band who did a great job and helped me feel positive about God again.

2 pints a bad idea

Tues 9th Oct: TGF cuddles and staying calm when technology lets me down.

Mon 8th Oct: TGF ham sandwiches when you've got the beer munchies... finding a new pub quiz... being able to use my skills to help people.

Babies!

Sunday 7th Oct TGF: being welcomed (and allowed to play Djembe at) a cool new church... being forced to eat cake by Betty... time to chill with a cup of tea.

Saturday 6th Oct TGF: Twiga and Tembo ...my new rat babies.


Friday 5th Oct TGF: hard work getting things done... fantastic friends who will always help me out... catching up with old friends.

Never too small

Mon 24th Sep TGF: little signs that someone cares.

Trust Him

Sunday 23rd Sep TGF: answered prayers.... Him providing a new housemate (hopefully).

Friday 21st Sep TGF: other christians at school.

sugar

Mon 17th Sep. TGF treacle tart for breakfast when you have run out of milk.

Twiga

Sunday 16th Sep TGF: the things I learned in Tanzania. TGF bringing us back safely. TGF how well my powerpoint went. TGF safe places to escape to.

Monsal Dale

Thurs 13th Sep TGF: Time...to be with a friend...to be outside...to enjoy His creation.

Kipepa Beach...Dar Es Salam

Help

Friday 7th Sep TGF: His help. The way he can take away our hurt and our anger and replace it with His peace and calmness. TGF his strength to carry on when our own has run out.

Sat 8th Sep TGF: the Simpsons (fish-bulb)...tea and biscuits...fixed TVs. Question: will I be able to do gymnastics in Heaven?

Finally...

Thurs 16th August TGF: .....

Spider pig

Wed 15th August TGF: the Spider Pig song!

"mine's not tight" (harness on coaster)

Wed 11th July TGF: cool rides (another thing on the 'List of really cool things I have been paid to do').. the chance to make things better after I had messed them up..inventions for incompetent people.

Thurs 12th July. TGF: screaming like a girl...not falling out of G-Force.. hugs from tipsy house mates...crisps...remembering the first malaria tablet..being able to just hold someone and wipe away the tears.. them doing the same for me...cuddles with baby Naomi...perfect birthday pressies from brilliant (and thoughtful) friends that know me well

Mon 9th July TGF: good timing on MSN..finally getting all my books marked..time with friends..ipods with tracks written and performed by people I know..the person that makes me VERY happy.

Tues 10th July TGF: help with getting packed...feeling a little bit excited about Africa now...fixed printers..choc chunk cheesecake at Wests..perfect birthday presents..crazy hair.

TGF wanting to TGF

Sunday 8th July. TGF feeling like he is really there. Have not blogged for ages because I have been having a major God 'wobble'. Sometimes being mad at him, sometimes wondering what the point is, why bother, mostly not understanding. One of my major issues was about how much God plans everything and controls things and how much is free choice. Related to this was to what degree did God make me exactly as I am, for His purpose or whatever, and how much is down to the choices I have made (Psalm 139 vs...). So for the last month or so my heart knew deep down that God was there really, but my head had too many doubts and questions.

So. Today is the first day that I really feel like thanking God for anything, and its been a while too since I really wanted to pray to him, and then only for other people. This morning I went to cut Heather's grass. Its not like I spent the time in deep spiritual thought, mostly brain just zooming and worrying about Tanzania. On the bike ride to church though, I just felt really chilled and peaceful about stuff. Normally I would have stressed about being late and not having had a shower and .... but I just kind of relaxed about these things, and just was a bit Aspie in the service, but not at all angry, unlike every other service for the last month, where I have been driven mad within 5 minutes, and really wondered why I bothered. Church was fast becoming a place to go to feel really bad about myself. I didn't know it was a communion service, and today I just felt like taking it (again the opposite to the last month) to say thanks to God for loving me.

This evening Sim's worship was great. Just him and a guitar. And the first time I felt like singing the words. Wrote down one line, cause I think God is telling me to trust him...particularly with the trip to Tanzania.

"Yesterday, today, forever. You are faithful and we will trust in you""

So, I think I have been obedient...I am going...now I have to trust that God will look after me and everything will be ok. The other thing I have to do is not get so hung up on stuff I don't understand and just try to do love God and love one another. It is easy to focus on all the stuff I do wrong and how I never get any better, and how its possible to think of my very being and identity as being inherently wrong and sinful. Or I can choose to try to just do that one greatest commandment. I can focus on the love part and try to do the very best job of that I can, with his help.

...TGF... zoomy brain waking me up early to get jobs done...the smell of cut grass...the way the mower compressed all the wet grass making it an easy job...realising that God doesn't care if I have not had a shower and I am wearing old dirty clothes and I am a little bit late...leftover takeaway curry...naps during the Wimbledon final...suprise visits...half price Ben and Jerrys...my favourite new shoes...Sim being brave and talented enough to be different in worship...the words to Majesty...God speaking to me in a way i understand (i think)...every second...

Faith...You gotta have it!

Tues 12th June: TGF George!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed 13th June: TGF answered prayers for patience and calmness in the face of verbal abuse.

Gagged again

Mon 11th June: TGF comedy moments... The scene:Leicester Cathedral, Commisioning Service featuring the Bishop and more clergy than you could shake a stick at (not sure why you would want to shake a stick at them, but...) During a very quiet bit ...

Alison: That guy there used to be a curate at Emmanuel (points). He's retired now.
Harley: Oh. Do they get to keep the dog collar even when they are retired?
Alison: Oh yes...the dog collar is for life.
Harley: Not just for christmas.

SHE'S ARRIVED!!!!!!

Sun 10th June: TGF the safe delivery of Rach and Pete's baby girl!!!!!!! TGF for answering all our prayers when Pete left Worship practice at 6pm to go take Rach. TGF Pete remembering to tell us all! TGF Rach and Pete being such wonderful people with so much love to give this child.

TGF Steve helping me fix the arial so now I have TV in my room. TGF John making me laugh on top of the ladder so I wasn't scared anymore. TGF communicating and explaining. TGF pringle sandwiches. TGF being physically connected. TGF God looking after the people you really care about when there is nothing you yourself can do for them. TGF Jazz getting dunked. TGF helping me just laugh my way through the randomest drumming in the history of worship!!! TGF his peace and comfort to my angel when she needs it. TGF MSN getting me talking to people again when I think all hope is lost.

Aspie Angels

Sat 9th June: TGF aspie angels and safe places. TGF my angel being able to explain me to people I upset when I am trying so hard to be nice and do what they want. TGF just being hugged and not having to explain. TGF finally getting the guts to phone the bike training people.

Jack's Tipple

Thurs 7th June: TGF Pops (his birthday today...shares it with Dean Martin I just discovered). TGF being strong for each other. TGF impulsive buys that turn into sneaky plans. TGF thatchers perry (quite strong it turns out!).

Friday 8th June: TGF evenings spent putting photos online with the aid of a large rum and coke. TGF Deano falling asleep while I stroked his ears....even if he did then wee on my bed later.

Eeyore

Wed 6th June: TGF mates unexpectedly being on MSN at lunchtime. TGF eeyore baby grows. TGF duplo sheep for Jnr. TGF Wii tennis. TGF rachel's yummy brownies. TGF having a safe happy place to imagine when I am feeling sad.

Back to bedlam

Mon 4th June: TGF having a trip to the cinema to look forward to, which helped me through a very long day at school. TG that the reports aren't due in till friday! TGF friends that didn't mind me jiffling throughout Pirates 3. TGF helping me not scream and cry when I found I had lost my ring.

Tues 5th June: apparently I should TGF boys that leave the loo seat down.

The happiest week

Tues 29th May: TGF waking up late and not having to get out of bed. TGF the ingenuity of Aspies..cameras in socks.

Wed 30th May: TGF being rescued from visiting nurseries by going for a nice walk. TGF playing games with friends (even if certain people lose us the game because they can't keep quiet even though they are 'not playing')

Thurs 31st May: TGF Alison enjoying the cable cars at Matlock Bath and me not banging my head once in the cave. TGF wetting ourselves laughing over the floating handbag and Harley the Heavy.

Fri 1st June: TGF making it to Bakewell (finally). TGF not actually drowning when Alison made me laugh in the swimming pool. TGF Beckham's return (nice haircut, lovely legs!!)

Sat 2nd June: TGF Alison calming me down again after all the rubbish of life comes flooding back after a perfect week away from it all. TGF an awesome concert by The8. David's voice is amazing. TGF how much me and Karen laughed...Pooh Pooh...Ting....Hey!

Sun 3rd June: TGF the myseterious recovery of the projector when we tried the Windows fix on it. TGF yet another lovely dinner at the Walkers. TGF having a laugh in the garden after. TGF a successful cream tea event, the last Ten go to Tanzania fundraiser. TGF loud cymbal crashes (oops!).

Thurs 24th May: TGF Wests chocolate chunk cheesecake. TGF Auties that kick ass on countdown.

Fri 25th May: TGF Star Wars (Happy 30th Birthday) TGF finding me a place to sleep (trusting Him really worked, he got me a top bunk in an empty hostel room, with a stream of Harleys going by the window.

Sat 26th May: TGF Toni and Andy. I hope he blesses them and they have a very happy (if untidy) life together. TGF crazy Irish priests.. he was funny!

Sun 27th May: TGF Frankie. My baby died today. He was all curled up happily asleep in his nest though, so I guess its ok. Still sad though. TGF John who was wonderful and made everything good for me when I got home.


Mon 28th May: TGF a week with friends to look forward to in Bonsall. Even if it is raining.

Alpha Beta..

Tues 22nd May: TGF every hug. TGF feeling peaceful after getting stressed out.

Wed 23rd May: TGF sun. TGF reading in coffee shops. TGF my best throwing out session ever. TGF Wests Brownies. TGF the powerpoint working. TGF how he keeps me calm when I really want to scream at people for messing me around.

Context

Sunday 20th May: TGF the time and place in which I live. TGF the bravery and honesty of a woman called Jenny.

Monday 21st May: TGF MSN. TGF Him being with the people you love when you can't be there. TGF Alison's yummy chocolate cake.

D'oh! behind again

Wed 16th May: TGF how God keeps a lid on my anger and hurt until its safe to let it out (this means I don't scream or cry in front of sly nasty kids and their parents). TGF Jono's way of dealing with kids that are mean to me. TGF having a safe place to go at the end of the day where I feel loved.

Thurs 17th May: TGF European Citizenship lessons that really engage the kids and open their eyes to some of the injustice in the world.

Friday 18th May: TGF playing games with friends. TGF friends that overcome their fears because they know something is important to me. TGF potato waffles. TGF having a good rant with someone who understands.

Sat 19th May: TGF couples/friends that really love each other. TGF lego and fishing supplements when I needed to phase out of the conversation. TGF long chats at the gym. TGF Singstar 80s!!!!! (me and Em nearly wet ourselves!)

Sun 20th May: TGF Delirious? and their songs.....Your grace has found me JUST AS I AM.

Doink

Tues 15th May: TGF being cosy inside watching Star Wars with a wonderful friend, while outside the rain came down. TGF the genius of Aardman Animations (Peter Lord is sooooo funny, in a not meaning to be kind of way).

lots to tgf

Thurs 10th May: TGF having fun in lessons today. TGF the 'justice' he let me have over the boy who on Wednesday made one of the most horrible comments to me ever...playing stool ball I bowled him out second ball...twice!

Fri 11th May: TGF friday treats taken to the extreme! jam scones and clotted cream at break followed by chips at the pub for lunch. TGF back pockets in trousers.

Sat 12th May: TGF hoods...with all mod cons! and TGF well travelled sweets.

Sun 13th May: TGF best buddies looking after me when my back hurt sooooo much. TGF my back hurting less when I had to do stuff at church. TGF the drumming that came from him in the hymn that had been awful in practice.

Mon 14th May: TGF smells.

hugs

Wed 9th May: TGF friends that just hold you tight while you cry on their shoulder. TGF friends that will be behind you when life gets tough. TGF time out on your own.

my hero

Tues 8th May: TGF John. TGF how he makes me laugh (even if normally its cos he is being incredibly mean to me). TGF how he is wise, and can explain stuff to me. TGF how he helps me know its not just me sometimes! I hope God gives him a hug sometimes, cos I don't think its allowed for me anymore.

Overtaking manouvres (with sound effects)

Sat May 5th: TGF the way He takes away our pride and anger and helps us to know when we just need to be there for each other.

Sun May 6th: TGF John..my bike fixing hero! TGF John explaining to me that maybe its not God and his twisted sense of humour that makes it so hard for me to do 'good things' like go to church and sponsored bike rides...but someone else trying to stop me doing God stuff. TGF mature, sensible teachers...who stuff peanuts up my nose!

Mon May 7th: TGF getting us all safely round our Tanzania bike ride (although Ben got close!) TGF holding my bike together...with the aid of a couple of bolts! TGF how much fun we had. TGF how a smile can keep you going.

May the Fourth be with you!!!!

Fri May 4th: TGF STAR WARS!!!!!

not mine but...

Thurs 3rd May: TGF wing mirrors (Alison's TGF really, but I thought I would include it anyway). TGF how nice my shaved head feels. TGF Emily Pankhurst and all the other women that fought for my right to vote. TGF strength from God.

keeping up

Wednesday May 2nd: TGF mates who are calm and forgiving when you lose the plot in front of them. TGF magic tricks.....Bunch of flowers! TGF bananas and custard.

Prochain

Tues 1st May: TGF 11 hours and interesting discoveries.

oh dear. am slipping...

Thurs 26th April: TGF Aspie angels that sort me out when I am stressing.

Fri 27th April: TGF hot ribena and grapes

Sat 28th April: TGF bike rides that are pretty flat when you've got no gears. TGF comedy road names (Butthole Lane hehehehe) TGF very generous lovely people giving us money to go to Tanzania. TGF the guys going to Uganda with the Beacon Fellowship.

Sun 29th April: TGF bargains (including the cutest babygro in the world) TGF the mars bar Ronan gave me after 4 hours freezing my ass off in Quorn. TGF having working gears on my bike again. TGF chocolate cake scoffed with friends. TGF the amount of laughter that can be got out of a mug of hot chocolate and an aspie (and some mischeivous mates)

Mon 30th April: TGF lovely house mates that bring you a cup of coffee. TGF the way that non-chrisitan friends appreciate you praying for them, esp when its the only thing you can do. TGF duvets.

I'm walking on Sunshine!!!!

(song on the radio)

Sunday 22nd April: TGF meals with friends (and especially for the friends that help you in the kitchen when it all goes wrong!). TGF worship...making noise to God! TGF answering prayers...this time that he would play toms in All My Days, cos I was getting too nervous.

Monday 23rd April: TGF comedy falls on the football field (ouch).

Tues 24th April: TGF explanations and his abilty to sort anything out

Wed 25th April: TGF late starts at school. TGF being woken by texts!

Bill and Blue

Thurs 19th April: TGF a bench in the sun, a can of pop, a good book (Notes from a Small Island) and time to kill.

Fri 20th April: TGF subtitles that go too fast and a friendly shoulder to hide behind

Sat 21st April: TGF bluebells...

Cell

Wed 18th April: TGF a brilliant cell group session. Ben did a great thing on spiritual gifts. worked really well. Kids all concentrated well...was just me and Steve misbehaving. TGF the first Alpha session at Wests, which seemed to go well.

Oh dear am getting behind

Sat 14th April: TGF how the auction and the market stall and everything all came together so fantastically and raised £1804 for the Ten go to Tanzania trip. TGF all the hard work Sue and Marcus put in to make it happen.

Sun 15th April: TGF unexpected dinner invitations. TGF chilling in the sun with friends.

Mon 16th April: TGF friend's answered prayers for patience in the face of the first day back at school.

Tues 17th Apri: TGF feet.

Oops

Wed 11th April: TGF reading (and laughing out loud to) Bill Bryson in the garden (esp as it was like summer, board shorts on, catching the sun on my shoulders). TGF Peter Kay night!

Thurs 12th April: TGF tidy lofts.

Friday 13th April: TGF cameras and boots that really are waterproof (luckily!)

blue lipstick

Monday 9th April: TGF learning something new about someone. Friends being able to help each other with their different skills.

Tuesday 10th April: TGF the smell of grass, shiny clean cars, being able to do stuff for other people. Shadowlands inspired...TGF Him using suffering to shape us, and to teach us about love.

The greatest day in history!!!!!

Sunday 8th April (Easter Sunday); TGF

CHRIST IS RISEN.....ALLELUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harley's wearing swimming trunks!

Saturday 7th April: TGF chips and Wii and pub gardens and my Tanz Buddy. And they were my genuine Aussie boardshorts, not trunks!

Good Friday

Friday 6th April: TGF giving His son. TGF Jesus being courageous and faithful enough to trust in his father. He could have run away, he knew what was coming, and he got have got out of it. I know I would not have been able to take the pain and taunting and everything else he went through, but to have known it was coming and to have chosen to face it is astounding.

We went to see 'Christ in the Centre' in Leicester. As the risen 'Jesus' left the stage he walked off through the crowd of people watching. A couple of people touched him as he went through, but then one bloke just grabbed him and hugged him. Not sure why it made me cry (then and now). Maybe its because I hope that when I see him he will just give me a hug and tell me that he loves me.

Beautiful

Thurs 5th April: TGF Stars. And apparently, they will be even more amazing in Tanzania.

yet again

Wed 4th April: TGF being forgiven...yet again. And for playing Buzz with my cell.

Dogfish

Monday 2nd April: TGF quality time with Mum (Ice skating and baking cakes) and being able to talk to someone on the phone when you miss them terribly.

Tues 3rd April: TGF my Grandad. I took him some photos today of Ranworth broad and the carving he did on the sign outside the church. First he told me all about the carving, then he somehow got onto fishing...catching Dabs (?) in the pools on the marshes. Then he was telling me about Dogfish..including far to much detail regarding the size of the male dogfish's 'willy'. Luckily Mum was resolutely looking the other way at this point, or I think we might have died laughing.

BINGO!!!!

Sunday 1st April: TGF safe journeys (less scary than last time!) memories of childhood and kicking my nan's ass at bingo!!!!

Hmm gotta think

Wed 28th March: TGF the phenomenal talent that God gives some people, and also the courage and determination to use it. Went to the cabaret evening at Rawlins and was amazed at what kids (many that would not even speak at Humphreys) can do.

Thurs 29th March: TGF forgetting about a crap day at school the instant I am with my best friend.

Friday 30th March: TGF having fun doing Easter bunny impressions in Yr 7 rugby...heroclicks club...cream cakes shared with a mate...a cuppa shared with a mate...squidgy skull sweets....being able to cope with broken promises for a change...shoes with nice feeling ridge bits on the front

Saturday 31st March: TGF being able to walk...fruit and nut chocolate...the Gandalf stick I found...hugs that have to last 4 days

Easily amused

Tues 27th March: TGF spitting apple pips....very satisfying...once you get over the suprise of a respectable grown up gobbing on you!

and the pic is from Saturday night, Toni's Hen night (which I found v stressful, but this amused me)....

Catching up

Friday 23rd March: TGF friends finding things funny...like skittles!

Sat 24th March: TGF being understood. I'm sure nobody else would get stressed at 'Mr Bean's Holiday' but with an Aspie Angel beside you, its kinda ok.

Sun 25th March: TGF being able to praise him on the drums (may well have had this one before). Although I felt happy and competent enough in practice, it really came alive in the service, and that only happens when God is helping me play and I'm playing to him not to the people.

Mon 26th March: TGF the strength that he gives us to get through things when we really have to.

hard but...

Wed 21st March: the smell of cut grass and breaking pencils on your forehead (doing the latter, not the smell of).

Thurs 22nd March: virtual hugs from friends over MSN.

Can I say sunshine again?

Monday 19th March: bit tricky. Bit of a crap day at school. Getting really fed up with trying to teach groups where only 3 or 4 (if that) out of 30 are actually trying to listen and learn. I guess TGF my woolly hat (Beanie to under 20s) which kept me snuggly warm while it was snowing when I was out teaching rugby. Would have said TGF winning the pub quiz but Ian wiped us out on a Dr Who question!

Tues 20th March: TGF Lego Tie Interceptors... Freddie Mercury... cuddles...chocolate cake....winter sun shining through the trees... new Bond movies.

Predictable but...

Sun 18th March: TGF my mum. TGF the strength he gives us to carry on as normal when we really have to, but can't do it by ourselves.

Blue skies...nothing but..

Sat 17th March: TGF blue skies and fluffy white clouds..... (and Aspies with a blow torch hehehe!)

Music

Friday 16th March: TGF the Highflyer version of Mad World...and dancing as though no-one is watching :-)

Hugs

Thurs 15th March: TGF how just being held in someone's arms can make everything ok

Hmmm needs custard!

Wednesday 14th March: TGF a great day at skool playing footy in the sunshine and feeling set up for the day by a swim before work. TGF Aspie mates who are really nice to you but also don't worry about being sociable and know that its ok for everyone to do their own thing.

Sunshine

Tues 13th March: TGF sunshine and new toys and woolly hats and scarves. TGF not being given up on. TGF hot chocolate with rum in.

Its time to play the music

Monday 12th March: TGF the Muppet Show and Galaxy Eggs. And for the endless patience and forgiveness that someone shows for me.

Safe returns

Sunday 11th March: TGF us being back safely in Lufbra. TGF awesome worship songs like In Christ Alone (and TG that Emmanuel don't have to sing it for me just yet). TGF haribo and singing badly in the car.

Yum

Sat 10th March: TGF chips on the market and Cayley's Hot Chocolate and Ice Cream (never had ice cream IN hot choc before, was yummy. TGF Alison, born this day some years ago! TGF my crazy family (I have video evidence...and I am the autistic one???)

Guardian Angels

Friday 9th March: TGF me still being here! God has been keeping His eye on me and my Guardian Angel was watching over me.

Just after a roundabout on the way home I pulled up at the end of a queue of traffic just under a bridge. Next thing i know an articulated lorry pulls up very fast beside me, stopping level with the car in front. Thing is he pulled up on the inside...on the side of the road..am so lucky God magicked a lorry sized space out of nowhere for him. If he had not swerved off I would not be here.

So thats my TGF for today ;-) Second time He has saved my life...He must have some cunning plan for me here!

Not 7BR1 !!!!

Thurs 8th March: TGF email. Unexpected emails that make your day. And that we can keep in touch with people wherever they are in the world.

Also crisps. TGF Walkers Sensations Peking Spare Rib and Five Spice Oriental Crackers.
And words. Invented words. TGF mantle and mooch.

Bunnies

Tues 7th March: TGF things that are so funny that they make you laugh out loud...and for so long that people demand to know what you are laughing at. Also TGF having birthday cake for tea.

Love

Tues 6th March: TGF love...however hard it is


...and red shoes.

Coming back

Mon 5th March: TGF people that can turn you around with their prayers and their words. People that stick with you when you are angry at God and the world and are patient with you and can reveal to you yet again that there is so much to be thankful for and that God won't ever let you go. Somehow things will change.

Struggling

Sat 3rd March: TGF mobile phones and bubble baths. Although not necessarily together as potentially a really bad idea.

Sun 4th March: TGF...really struggling. Well no, technically there is lots from today to thank God for, like unexpected dinner invitations, taking 25 mins to eat a Galaxy Egg, bringing God glory through playing drums even though I thought I was awful, getting the bridge in O Happy Day right (finally!), having finally conquered Ironing Mountain etc etc. I just am finding it very very difficult to feel like thankng God right now. Want to scream about how life is too hard and not fair instead. Still, God knows what is in my head and in my heart.

Daisys

Fri 2nd March: TGF Daisys. Was at Beaumanor Hall today on an Outdoor Pursuits course (so TGF mud and climbing and running around and adventure playgrounds too hehehe) and was walking across a lawn when I noticed some daisys. Nothing huge about that I guess, but I suppose it just really struck me that these were the first of the year, and with the crisp air and bright sun shining on them, they were really beautiful.

Someone who believes in you

Thursday 1st March: TGF people that really believe in you and what you can do. The people that build you up again and set you back on your feet when life knocks you down.

Tig

Tues 27th Feb: TGF all the fantastic children I met at Forest Way today. So many lovely kids. I had such fun at dinner time, playing Tig in the fantastic playground with a lad who just giggled the whole time. One child was the politest I have ever met. Everybody seemed to want to say hello and ask my name. And I made Ryan's day when I fixed his slinky. Me and Michael earned stickers for our fantastic work in French, and Alison made my day by letting me have a go in Soft Play at the end of the day :-)

Wed 28th Feb: TGF all the people that do so much work for church but never get the credit they deserve, or maybe even people realising their vaule and just how much they do behind the scenes.

Remembering why I do it

Mon 26th Feb: TGF the rare occassions when I actually get to teach. Have had two moments recently when I have been able to show a child how to do something...and step back to watch them smile as they enjoy doing it.

And TGF: the emotion that can be communicated through a look (quite amazing that as an Aspie I have finally grasped this concept...though I still get confused!)

Getting dunked

Sunday 25th Feb: TGF all the people that got baptised and confirmed on Sunday night. Esp Dom. Esmee, Nick and Jenny. It is soooo fantastic to see people that you know and love 'officially' become your bro/sister. Its weird, I can't describe the feeling. Part of it is being really proud of them, but its only a tiny bit of how proud God is of them.

Also TGF being able to worship through dancing and jumping to awesome music. The Music team were fantastic. Amazes me that music can make me cry one moment and leap and spin with joy the next.

Finally TGF chilling out on a Sunday afternoon with good friends...sprawled on a sofa listening to my best friend play piano...thankyou.

Things to thank God for

The idea for this blog just now popped into my head. We have so much to thank God for. I thought maybe I would try throughout Lent (and beyond) to post one thing every day that I thank God for. I guess the reason for this is mainly last Sunday's two services at Emmanuel. I was drumming in both services, but they were both very different experiences for me, because of my attitude.

Something had happened on Saturday night that had sent me to 'Aspie Land'. Sunday morning I was still wanting to be 'Selfish 10 year old boy Aspie', and shut the world out and protect myself. I was really angry that stuff is not exactly the way I want it, and also I was scared that I am so open to being hurt again. Aspie Harley does not like letting people in and having to trust them.

So in the morning service I was shutting people out and being really grumpy with God, despite the theme being 'Thanksgiving' and I was still feeling sad by the time I got to the evening service.

Something happened in that service, and the message got through to my thick head. I have so much to thank God for, and most of the time I look at stuff and my life completely the wrong way, focussing on what is hard or not exactly how I want it.

The worship in that service was exactly what I needed. God made me just forget about whatever was on my mind...and just praise Him with everything that I am. The display made by the Junior Music Team has the best definition ever....Worship is...making noise to God!

So I made noise to God...lots of it. I totally lost myself in drumming and singing and just thanked God for His love and every blessing that he pours out on me.

Sunday 18th Feb: TGF the time I get to spend with the people I love (not focussing on when we are apart and how hard is to be alone, but thanking Him for the many, many great times we share) And for worship...making noise to God

Monday 19th Feb: TGF great friends that forgive you for being late and help you to win quizzes!

Tuesday 20th Feb: TGF time. However fast it passes. And for Soul Survivor. And cheese sandwiches.

Wed 21st Feb: TGF children that have the intelligence and courage to stand up for their opinions (and I pray for God's hand on those that seem to believe the racist, sexist, homophobic etc etc comments that they make)

Thurs 22nd Feb: TGF Aspie moments (the ones that are very funny afterwards)

Fri 23rd Feb: TGF Bridges and Mongrels (people that can connect between Aspies and NTs...I can't value my bridge enough

Sat 24th Feb: TGF the other Aspies that I know. Breakfast with two of my faves was great. And training buddies that help me push my body whilst they sort my head! And for chocolate and the amusing things you can do with it ;-)