The move

TGF being able to help yesterday. TGF answered prayer the night before that enabled me to actually get home (timely arrival of a RAC van). TGF my fab friends and the SW Lego they got me for passing my PhD.

the obvious one

... at this time of year is TGF sending his Son. Also TGF having a family to go home to, TGF internet and mobiles to keep in touch with mates back in other home. TGF toys (even though I am gutted I didn't get any Lego). TGF christmas pudding with Grand Marnier cream hehehe. TGF playing games until 3 in the morning.

How different

TGF finally getting things sorted and being happy with each other... really happy. Asking for His help getting through the next couple of weeks... that I know when to be there, and when to give space.

no fair

TGF orange squash when its the only thing you can keep down. TGF my brilliant friends looking after me. TGF presents of milk and OJ... and tins of Roses hehe.
However.. have to question why I'm ill again..only just got over the last lot. No fair. And also why my tape deck broke this morning ... no more harry potter to send me to sleep :-(

Long time coming

TGF certain letters.. at last.. TGF my wonderful uncle and dad.. fixing up my house for me while I cough and sneeze upstairs.

Not funny God

TGF ways around problems. TGF being so nearly there on the thesis. TGF singstar (all hyper from school CM festival). TGF Deano! TGF everything going smoothly today for the funeral. TGF being able to help (Len's speeches were funny)

Hmm

I guess I have to TGF his faithfulness. And his unchanging nature. And his grace. And that he is always there for us even when things are going seemingly pear shaped in our lives. I need to to ask him to help to think how things are for other people, and not to be so wrapped up in my own world and how things affect me.

The Easter Bunny

TGF Len... happy with Auntie and Big G now.

Freddie... and so many others

Answered prayers

TGF Apple being kind... actually apple being super wonderful and lovely. They gave me, as in for free, a replacement power supply. Thus saving me 59 whole pounds that it would have cost to buy a new one after a certain naughty rat boy chewed through mine. Thank you God and thank you Apple. And my family, though confused about the contents of the store, appreciated the welcome they received. They even offered my Nan a chair. Bless 'em!

I was about to lose it..

TGF Alison phoning and managing to keep me calm when I was about to completely explode at losing my Apple receipts. TGF Alison praying that God would guide me to them. TGF God guiding my eyes to the Guinness pint glass on the stereo where I had put the receipts to keep them safe.
I'm such a dumbass. God must really despair of me sometime.

Mmmm

TGF M and Ms. I'm getting so so so fed up with corrections... naughty treats keeping me going.

TGF the Star Wars soundtrack. Not too distracting, but enough to keep me from going mad! (NO comments there please)

At last

TGF my phone working again. Scary how reliant I am on it. Did my head in all weekend! but.. back now.

God's paintbox

TGF sunrises of a beautiful orangey pink colour that you would never be able to capture in a photo (so I didn't try, just looked).

TGF cover supervisers at school that work really hard in a pants job... but it means I am allowed the day off when I am ill (won't start the CS/supply debate here...)

TGF being able to email and blog from the warmth of my big duvet.

Weather

TGF a loft full of fleece. TGF cars when its raining. TGF hot water bottles. TGF 2 for 1 curry at the pub (thanks Shaun). TGF talking through problems.

Beautiful

TGF the scene outside the swimming pool window...the sun shining on red autumnal leaves. TGF friends that forgive you when you accidentally bite their finger...oops. TGF afternoon naps. TGF the last few skittles. TGF really good CDs dirt cheap from a jumble sale (Madness!!).

Aspie Heaven

TGF bonfire night. TGF the smell. TGF fireworks. Love it.

Creation

...plus a little messing from mankind!! ... TGF these cool roses....

Understanding

TGF a fab day in Legoland. All the star wars stuff was cool... especially my Lightsaber training!! TGF fireworks... to the SW music! TGF getting to play with a JCB digger. TGF Alison's patience and understanding.... letting me go do all the Jedi stuff that was supposed to be for 'younglings'... and for staying and being cheerful, even thought it was very cold and wet. 

Apple...just the coolest

TGF my new Apple MacBook...that I'm writing this on. It's my reward for finishing the thesis. TGF Alison's kindness... getting the first non-working (Chalkie's bad luck must be genetic!) Macbook back to the Apple store and trading it for this cool whizzy one. Big grin. 

Finally...

TGF this lovely feeling of having finished my thesis and emailed it to my supervisor. (Lets hope it doesn't come back covered in red pen!!)

Cosy

TGF warm duvets and fleece blankys. TGF purple sunrises. TGF 5 minute visits. TGF being almost there. TGF staying calm when Word messes up page numbers. TGF old man slippers when its cold. TGF wii play while waiting for the contents of your chip butty to cook hehe

Company

TGF the rat boys skipping about while I work...bounding straight past the popcorn...Boy Vision at work!!! TGF real coffee to wake up snoozy brain. TGF my glasses and my sight. TGF the mess in my room...a sign that I'm actually doing the PhD, not work avoiding!! TGF looking forward to dinner out later. TGF maybe it raining bad at half six this morning...so I can get some work done instead of selling nothing at the car boot.

Constant nibbling

TGF Haribo.

Dahl's Chickens

TGF being able to go hear JPK play... not altogether unpleasant! TGF haircuts. TGF making progress on PhD. TGF all the books I've still got from when I was a kid (I know...still am).

Links

TGF what NTs refer to as a 'support network'. I think of it more as 'people who have some idea of where you are coming from, and are willing to talk about it'. TGF getting to know Sig (btw..if you read this...I NEED to see the photos of you with my haircut that James was talking about!)

TGF a room full of stuff to stare at and distract myself from starting PhD. TGF cow slipper socks. TGF being facebook friends with cool people at school...we have a life beyond! TGF the Frosties I'm now going to go get.

Scrummy Puddings

TGF sunday lunch with friends. TGF toffee apple bread and butter pudding. TGF that nice feeling when the house is all tidy and organised (however briefly). TFG big warm jumpers. TGF strawberry scented candles. TGF really silly records (Orville...as bad as we remembered!).

Little things...well and some big ones too

TGF loving my Toy Story duvet hehe. TGF being happy at still being a kid most of the time. TGF photos that remind me of a fabulous day (Sheringham). TGF brilliant CDs for 20p each at car boot sales. TGF being hungry...but knowing that I can just go downstairs and find food... TGF life here being easy when you think about it (hard to remember sometime tho). TGF jelly babies. TGF playing games on a friday afternoon. TGF making it to half term having only ranted about school once.

TGF being able to give stuff to people who can make good use of it. Really happy that the laptop I wrote a lot of my thesis on is now on its way to the TESO project in Uganda (Sponsors girls to go to secondary school) instead of living out its days unused under my bed. Feel a bit sad tho...got quite attached to it, the PhD was hard, and I really loved my secondhand, yet cool laptop.

Progress

TGF helping my foot get better. TGF progress made on phd. TGF chill out time playing games. TGF stereos being random and breaking and working again (it was scared of Steve TR!) TGF looking forward to naughty food. TGF Eddie.

Getting better

TGF things looking hopeful. TGF my foot getting loads better. TGF being able to play football (even though thats where I hurt it in the first place). TGF meals with a friend. TGF a drink out in the sun. TGF ready brek (was feeling left out that everyone seems to be following JPK's Porridge Plan!!)

Much fun

TGF my bike.

Am having fun riding it at the mo (tad chilly in the mornings, but ok) and Scott has told me something I hadn't realised, so may be able to take proper test sooner rather than later. Mainly as might not cost 600 quid. Which I er.. don't have!

Creation

TGF really blue sky...even if it is freezing!

Something that actually works

TGF central heating...one of the few things in this house that works. TGF chilled Sunday mornings in bed with a coffee, sorting old photos (even if this was cut short by a 'can you come to church' phone call).

TGF cool mates and trampolines....

Post flip calm

TGF sorting stuff out to some degree. TGF knowing that a simple sign of love and caring can break through when words can't.

Thought for the day.... when is it time to cross the street?

"So when you're standing at the kiosk asking 'why can't I have what I want?' may you believe that God is good and that right across the street he has something better" Rob Bell. Kickball Nooma.

Creation

TGF pebbles on a beach.

Perfect

TGF an absolutely brilliant day at the seaside...lovely weather..lovely friends...so much fun...Thank you God and thank you to the gang.

Simple things

TGF sitting in the sun..TGF cans of pop...TGF watching kids sprawled on the floor thoroughly enjoying playing Tiddlywinks..TGF photos on your desk (currently the Here comes the sun moment!)

Toys

TGF all my toys...in particular my TV (working on PC while watching Paralympics) and my camera (even though it does get me extra work unpaid at school). Even TGF the ones that don't work...like the printer that took my afternoon, and then printed Alison's pictures and not mine. This time it's personal!!

TGF my garden with all its lovely flowers.

The lovliest flowers I ever got

TGF sunflowers...

Can I do that?

Saturday. TGF playing Spiderman Uno in the sun on the patio (that Ruth designed) with Ruth and Sophie. TGF being able to run. TGF watching Cars with beer and popcorn (food not people...would be funny if I had friends called Beer and Popcorn).

Lots

TGF... a desk to work at. TGF curry and chat with incredibly brainy people. TGF just about being able to keep up with brainy people (mainly cos they explain things really well at a dumbass level). TGF the comfort of a familiar smell. TGF cards to send to people to let them know what you've been up to. TGF having a place to remember Grandad. TGF reading a book in the sun. TGF Him meeting all our needs (like a housemate). TGF having parents who are happy to help me out. TGF possibly being able to afford the house....we'll see!!! TGF the guys having a great time so far on their worship leader's course.

Footprints

TGF the fact that He knows the bigger picture...he really does know what is best for us...even if we don't agree at the time.

TGF the footprints poem. Just seeing my framed one Alison made me at church made me cry. TGF how creatively Alison used the idea of footprints to show how God is good. TGF how brilliant G Factor is...TGF Alison for creating it. TGF all the other people brought together by Alison's work on Alpha courses that help make it happen.

TGF George Michael. TGF the smell of fresh washing. TGF knowing what you want to eat for tea. TGF jelly babies. TGF really good waterproofs. TGF really good timing (arrived in front of the Walker's TV the second that Gemma Prescott appeared on it in the Paralympic opening ceremony. TGF being able to pray for someone I know so far away. TGF sport, whatever the performer's ability. TGF my cuddly toys. TGF the lovely people that have bought me presents...so many as I look round my room. TGF my fantastic friend Emma...for her time, and commitment to help her friends sort things out...and her help with making my house a lovely place to be.

It's just falling with style

TGF duvet covers.

At last

Mon 1st Sep. TGF sitting on my patio having a cup of coffee in the sun. Finally. Was lovely.

Summer?!

TGF waterproof trainers. TGF houses with toys. TGF trampolines. TGF getting ideas for a drum shed! TGF more bargains at the car boot. TGF sunshine in the morning. TGF finding presents that make people happy. TGF brass concerts in the rain. TGF a dry edge of bench. TGF being silly with kids. TGF cool Air Jordan tops from Jono. TGF photos of fantastic days out. TGF my comfort hoody. TGF busy but chilled Sundays.

TGF being able to praise him by hitting things (although my hands do hurt now!)

Way behind again

Sat 30th August. Catching up. TGF curling up on the sofa once the ironing is finished. TGF crying at the end of Walk the Line. TGF my lovely animals photo album I finished last night...and TGF the amazing trips the photos are from (Mikumi Safari Park, Tz and London Zoo). TGF presents from Jono (Air Jordan top...so cool). TGF mature and thoughtful conversations with Year 9 girls...and their acceptance rather than hatred. TGF staying late in bed reading Discworld books. TGF healing Tim's eyes. TGF a nice meal out with Tim with him raving about how brilliant it is. TGF jewellry made from magnets. TGF laughing at Danny making funny noises next door! TGF getting to see my friends later. TGF healing two relationships that heartbroken people had thought were over. TGF having a great buddy to give me tea and hugs when things go pear shaped. TGF gradually making hurting tooths better. TGF both falling asleep on the sofa.

Footprints

From the outerspace sessions at Greenbelt 08....TGF the footprints of those who have gone before us

Great man

TGF Freddie.

Dogs from Labyrinth

Mon 18th: TGF bananas and custard for tea (Ambrosia in case you were wondering about the dog). TGF looking forward to tomorrow. TGF having a really dodgy vinyl collection. Just what is wrong with 5 Star Ems?

Timing

TGF timely texts when you're starting to worry and photos when you're feeling lonely.

Plywood

Sunday. TGF yet more bargains from the car boot. TGF chatting with Ems as we hunt for stuff. TGF looking differently at something ordinary...like the guy that made an awesome photo frame from plywood. TGF being silly at church. TGF him not minding if I eat my snickers breakfast in church, even if the vicar did...oops. TGF being mate with people under 10. TGF hard work in the garden. TGF food and a film. TGF sky plus. TGF having a washing machine. TGF burning stuff that smells nice. TGF a cold can of Dr Pepper.

Barca

Friday 15th. TGF nice smells. TGF pear cider. TGF doing a boy job myself (and not doing a girly scream when I found the slug). TGF a room full of stuff (mostly toys hehe) even if it is a nightmare to sort thru. TGF missing people...I pray it will help me appreciate them even more when they are around.

Just kidding

Wed 13th: TGF rainbows and singstar

Head or Heart

Wed 13th August. TGF a single text.

Sand and Aspie Angels

Sunday 10th August. TGF being ready on time. TGF yet more car boot bargains. TGF laughing at spilling tea all down myself. TGF unexpected outings to the park. TGF playing in sand. TGF drumming going well.

Beansprouts

Sat 9th. TGF yummy chinese takeout. TGF the amazing opening ceremony...everything going perfectly. TGF an unusually long concentration span (for me) to finish volume two. TGF time chilling out. TGF getting the grass cut before the rain. TGF chinese for breakfast. TGF friends that care about you when you're hurt. TGF getting really cool slabs ready to make the patio, despite B+Q being rubbish. TGF a fantastic friend who was willing to spend her day helping me. TGF Iris the plant. TGF skateboards being useful.

Non coincidences

TGF thinking about the time I saw a fox on my way home....and then seeing three!!! TGF being reminded of Grandad everytime I see a fox. TGF nice people I met tonight at an Aspie group. TGF Tommy Cooper jokes badly told.

Words from Gene

TGF Gene's blog.

"Diversity is God's gift to us, division is what we make of it"

"There is only one God, but our ability to comprehend that God goes through lots of stages, becoming ever more expansive as God reveals God's self to us, directly and through others"

"The Christian life is seldom neat and tidy, and the business of loving the world that God has made, and every person in it, is messy and difficult. Attempts to clean up the "mess" may be at cross purposes with what God has in mind"

"I have frequently recalled Desmond Tutu's simple and wise description of the Anglican Communion. "We meet," he said. Full stop. That's what we do. We hold a common belief and hope in the Risen Christ, and because we care for one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, we meet. We meet, and let God's Holy Spirit work among us, to allow us to see our common humanity, and to discover the Christ in "the other."

"God IS working God's purposes out, even if we can't always see it"

"It was VERY interesting to me to look at the faces of those at the conference -- many, many of which were somber, sad and tense. In contrast, the faces of lgbt people and our allies, looked joyful, happy, even radiant. I wondered, which vision of the church are people drawn to? That which produces a solemn and morose countenance, or one which produces joy and radiance? Gay and lesbian Christians KNOW what it is like to be rescued from shame and guilt, and to walk in the light of God's redeeming love, and seem to show it in every moment. That's the church I want to be in, don't you?"

Easy life!

TGF being able to chill in the sun with a book. TGF being able to download songs as they pop into your head. TGF chilled afternoons just wanderin and chattin. TGF getting help with buying trousers that fit.

the boys

TGF my boys following me up the stairs and running out to meet me. So sweet. TGF a brilliant birthday treat having fun shooting great friends. TGF those great friends being chilled and not minding my lack of organisation..or at least being willing to play things by ear (weird phrase...nothing was played with any body part).

TGF being able to run...some good PBs this week. TGF all the toys he gives me (via lovely people mostly). TGF being able to make someone happy with a gift.

Toys

Thurs 31st: TGF toys. TGF Game finally having a Wii fit. TGF parents paying for it!!! TGF Alison being kind and thoughtful and just popping into Game on the off chance. TGF Dr Heather Crate (dunno how she didn't slap the Attic people!) TGF relaxing afternoons once the work is done.

A Perfect Day

Wednesday July 30th: TGF LEGO

But that was our best jolly jape

Sunday 27th July. TGF fun in funky monkeys. TGF having spare glasses at home (am such a dumbass). TGF getting house all sorted before olds arrived. TGF my huuuge Spidey canvas. TGF old school (as in prints...not Hellesdon High) photo albums...can share pics with people that don't read blogs). TGF Chalkie fixing the bathroom door...although we thought it was funny when people got stuck in there. TGF eventually finding the place on the map. TGF getting fed eventually. TGF crumble and custard (Chalkie agrees with me on this one). TGF apparently having fixed my PC.

The Dark Knight rules!

Sat 27th July. TGF getting lots of ticks on the To Do list. TGF not being that far apart. TGF birthday treats ...Karen fed me bangers and mash in Spoons then took me to see Dark Knight...which was awesome...I sat still for 2.5 hours and (TGF this...) DIDN'T FEEL SICK!!!!

Sun

Fri 25th July: TGF managing to snooze for a while after waking ridiculously early. TGF my new (car boot) Darth Vader mug (had run out...saved me washing up!!) TGF breakfast outside at the table. TGF "the olds" (Whitley's term not mine!) noticing that the garden looked nice. TGF Karen and Alison that got it that way last night...drippin they were! TGF Pops teaching me stuff as he replaced the brake caliper. TGF Ma cleaning the kitchen despite being told to stop. TGF my photo albums...appreciated. TGF a good film...Kung Fu Panda...and bless Alison for snoozing a wee bit. TGF a quick read. TGF the t-shirt fitting nicely. TGF managing to get a little work done. TGF leftover curry for tea...yum. TGF a nice chat on MSN and TGF Gene's blog. Phew. TGF sleep soon.

Bottle

Sun 20th: TGF all my bargains from the car boot sale...esp my lovely red hoody which is cuddly and nice. TGF managing to squeeze in a run. TGF a lovely afternoon with Dan...TGF the yummy pizza and getting some work done and esp TGF Dan's Grand Prix updates. TGF lemon meringue pie. TGF song words that really mean something. TGF giving me the bottle to speak up in front of everyone. TGF the thing I talked about. TGF healing Tim's eye. TGF Emily's drumming to Be thou my vision. TGF chilling in the pub (not possible a few weeks ago). TGF not having that feeling of dread regarding the approach of monday morning.

TGF Fireworks

Friday 18th July. TGF fireworks. These are the ones from the LU Grad Ball. TGF feeling a bit of a wally sat on a hill...until they started. TGF my cool camera and the laughable titchy tripod that actually did the job. (If you click on them you get the bigger pic..well, slightly).

TGF purple.

Relaxed

Thurs 17th: TGF feeling all dreamy and chilled out and TGF why. TGF feeling totally happy putting pictures in an album. TGF all the happy times I've had so far this year. TGF kites. TGF the feeling of having got lots done today.

ZZZ

Wed 16th. TGF an utterly lovely nap in the afternoon.

Better at wii

Tues 15th. TGF Ruth and Sophie asking me to play tennis. Was a giggle...cos all equally rubbish in our own special ways. TGF head turning out ok. TGF time exceptionally well spent in the afternoon. TGF Pops offering to buy a new lawn mower (guessing the smoke not a good sign).

no nagging required

TGF getting started eventually without having to be nagged. TGF getting quite a bit done in the end. TGF a lovely couple of hours off in the afternoon. TGF will power/guilt. TGF Pete, and ex Humphrey's pupil who is off to Kosovo in October to do volunteer work with young people. God bless him and keep him safe.

Vicky Imogene

Mon 14th July. TGF Gene Robinson. God obviously wanted this one to live.

So sweet

Sunday 13th July: TGF a lick on the forehead from my beautiful boy Tembo (luckily before I caught rummaging him in the bin). TGF being proved wrong that my phone never rings. TGF yummy roasties. TGF playing games (and kicking ass at them hehehe!)

School's out for summer!

Saturday 12th July: TGF surviving another year at school. TGF the people that have helped me survive (A, Chris, Kate, Vicky). TGF watching Rugrats on a saturday morning just like when I was a kid (I know..still am). TGF a lovely half hour. TGF being able to chill about the time..get stuff done but also relax. TGF George Michael. TGF the message at the end of the Outside video..Jesus loves..All of us..ALL.

made my day

Wednesday 9th July. TGF having someone make my day yesterday asking if I could please go on the Safari park trip...which I really really wanted to do anyway..yet more animal pictures on the way!

TGF having a prom outfit sorted no stress. TGF not making an idiot of myself last night talking to SMT. TGF friends at school.

TGF being able to feel close and share moments even if miles and miles apart. TGF finding forgotten photos.

He makes a big difference

Monday 7th July: TGF the smell of fresh washing. TGF my safe and happy place. TGF a smile at the right time. TGF not standing on the frog but getting a photo instead (the fox ran off too quickly for that). TGF his help and his peace....friendly conversation between two people who in theory should hate each others guts.

new phone

Sunday 6th july TGF being able to blog from my phone.. Using WLAN which i hope is free!

35310

Monday 30th June. TGF making myself laugh at the stupidity of answering back senior managers. TGF one nice easy lesson today. TGF LEGO http://gizmodo.com/5020703/35310-lego-star-wars-clone-trooper-army-invades-earth

Heart to Heart

Sunday 29th June: TGF Him working things out so we could talk. Really talk. Hearts hearing each other. Still confused as to where we stand but have a sense of hope back again. So TGF that.

Broken Hearts

Saturday 28th June: TGF not a lot. Having my heart torn apart yet again. Trying hard to be mature and calm and stable and patient. Hurts me so badly that love is not enough. Guess I watch too many soppy films, and in real life things don't work like that. My glimmer of hope that one day things will be different is fading again.
Yet...TGF knowing in my heart that she is the one. TGF my feelings coming out as tears not anger. TGF knowing that in heaven there will be no pain. TGF the strength to just wait that I hope he gives me.

If only everyone did

Wednesday 25th June: Some things I suppose I should thank God for. Really don't feel like it though. I want to scream and cry and ask God why he made me like this and why he put me into this hopeless life. Am just recalling a post from a few days ago.. and wishing that everybody would obey their heart sometimes, rather than listening only ever to what they can't do.

Today I guess I have to TGF it not raining on sportsday, for no-one getting hurt in the javelin competition. TGF not losing the plot so badly that I lost my job by ranting at a senior manager (although at least one person was proud of me for standing up for myself). TGF being able to stop crying and teach my lesson straight after. I should TGF scoring a goal at football, but am just so fed up at how useless I am at everything, and wonder why I bother putting myself through hell, I just can't do making friends.

I really should have posted my thoughts for yesterday last night. Right now I can't believe it even happened. Yesterday would have been TGF holding it together in the face of Year 9 girls when Chris really thought I would lose it. TGF the nightmare day at school finally ending. TGF someone friendly being at home waiting for me with a smile and a hug. TGF relaxing and reading. TGF a whole evening together. One day I hope that I would be able to TGF being able to be more open and honest in this blog. However, again that seems to be getting further and further away.

Bit of a struggle

Mon 23rd June. TGF...um....its been another nasty day at school... I suppose TGF there only being 3 weeks left. TGF being able to come home and forget about it and read a good book in a cosy warm place. TGF trifle.

Love one another

Sunday 22nd June: TGF church services where God gets through. TGF him giving me the thought that just burrows away at your brain...then the guts to follow it through. TGF Phil Groves working with and for gay and lesbian people in the Anglican church. TGF important things to learn from the bible...and they're often the simplest.

TGF a dry day (if crazily windy) for my barbie. TGF lumpy custard trifle. TGF reading in the sun. TGF my angel who is fast becomming an expert in splinter removal. TGF being brave and phoning sky and BT.

For Thursday: TGF having people in school that really care about you. TGF Zoe, the kid in my mentor group that I think actually does care, rather than seeing a weakness to exploit. TGF Chris, a lovely lady, who knows why I was so upset, and understands the whole Aspie thing too.

Answered prayers

Fri 20th June: TGF Alison's head feeling better. TGF Tim's eyes getting better. TGF baby Oscar being born safely.

Follow your heart

Fri 20th June: TGF listening to my heart. TGF that being the right thing to do. TGF being cried on. TGF orange redbsuh. TGF not leaving when I could have. TGF making my cool new table together. TGF the first meal outside. TGF sharing an ice cream. TGF reading in the sun. TGF being able to make someone else feel relaxed and happy with a massage. TGF sitting with my feet up feeling all contented despite the never-ending list of things to do. TGF not burning the garage down when I kind of accidentally set the door alight! oops. TGF feeling happy that the ironing and hoovering is done. TGF being brought a cup of tea while watching the footy. TGF being able to remind myself, and someone else to remember to be grateful for the small things through this blog...a lesson learned from a great woman.

Proud

Sun 15th June: TGF having someone be really proud of me. TGF the feeling of having suprised yourself by doing your best. TGF having someone beaming at you. TGF answering prayers for not needing to stop to pee or puke during the race. TGF birthday cake to eat after the race instead of the ryvita in the 'goody bag'. TGF bubbles. TGF sleep when you are really cream crackered. TGF his grace finding me just as I am. TGF 5 minutes together. TGF technology behaving itself so that I was able to burn all of Sim's CDs today.

Carpe Diem

Sat 14th June. TGF creation. and cameras.

Love

Sat: TGF love. Am in tears. Liverpool concert on iPlayer. Something in the way she moves me.

Good anger

Sat 14th June: TGF amazing autistic people, namely Ros Blackburn, who can speak for autistic people with a passion I've never witnessed before. Controversial to some, but I think she has the right idea about how we teach autistic people to survive in the social world. And she's hilarious. Did you know Jesus had a good upbringing? ....he came from a stable background.
TGF naps in the sun (this time on the massage table in the toasty warm conservatory. TGF great books (Tears of the Giraffe). TGF being able to use my skills and stuff to help out other people. TGF multicoloured lights. TGF time to talk. TGF other people that unconsciously play with stuff too. TGF Paul McCartney. TGF lovely babies (and getting paid to look after them). TGF sobbing at the end of a film before you even get there. TGF the times when you get to spend a whole day with someone you love to be with. TGF being middle aged and wandering round garden centres. TGF the song Blackbird (Beatles). TGF the clever and groovy Sim Walker who can turn Alison's pop noise into a funky song.

connected

Wed 11th June: TGF being able to chat on MSN all evening while doing photo and blog stuff. TGF having yoghurt and warm honey for tea. TGF coming home to a hug. TGF making plans. TGF being able to make Nan's day with a postcard. TGF not having to work tomorrow hehe.

grapes

Tues 10th June: TGF helping John to pass his viva. TGF guessing right on the grapes thing. TGF walks in Queens Park.TGF jelly babies.

Go for the one you really like

Mon 9th June: TGF getting my job application in on time (being paranoid that they didn't recieve the email but...).. TGF having to do less hours at school next year (this is the extremely positive way of them screwing me yet again). TGF finally getting my garden furniture. TGF the store having the chairs in, as online didn't. TGF being able to get them home in my car (amusingly). TGF my new ipod shuffle. TGF finishing a good book. TGF chilling out in the sun after school.

Stop and look

Fri 6th June: TGF the beautiful thin moon last night.

Ingredients

Thurs 5th June: TGF a hug being able to melt away all the day's stress. TGF friends not minding you dither in shops. TGF cheap pub food. TGF a nice stroll home. TGF being able to walk. TGF having a washing machine in the house. TGF having the ingredients to make a cake just there ready in the cupboard. TGF the smell of baking all bran cake. TGF licking the bowl. TGF being able to create stuff with my favourite pastime of 'melting stuff'.

What a sweetie

Wed 4th June: TGF Twiga winning second prize in the HPHS cutest animal competition, and changing a few people's minds about rats in the process. TGF finishing school early and having an absolutely lovely afternoon. TGF plasticine.

Not competititve but..

Tues 3rd Jan: TGF just one of my groups being able to shut up long enough for us to get some work done. TGF percussion (watched BBC young musician on iplayer). TGF having more than enough clothes. TGF having managed to save some money to buy the house. TGF being able to live independently. TGF beating the people I don't like at the quiz..hmm not sure thats an appropriate TGF, maybe just TGF doing ok at the quiz and having a nice chat afterwards. TGF hot chocolate.

Shock horror...technology working??!?

Sunday 1st June: TGF not being too mad at it raining when I was so close to finishing the fence. TGF a run instead. TGF getting my accounts sorted today. TGF a micro-visit. TGF banana sarnies. TGF finally having TV in my room (all because I came across a signal booster in a cupboard when I was looking for Tembo). TGF having got stuff done this week. TGF having had some really special times this week.

My Angel to the rescue yet again

Sat 31st May: TGF my Aspie Angel. Yesterday she found my rat. Today she removed an impressively large splinter from my finger. What would I do without her?

TGF sunshine on my back while I painted the fence (although a bit too much for the bits I couldn't reach with the sun cream). TGF the paint coming off easily enough in the shower (so glad they banned creosote). TGF help with looking for garden furniture. TGF a nice hour watching P+P. TGF Kevin Spacey. TGF swinging around the kitchen when there's no-one there to see you. TGF Eddie in french.

Another answered prayer

Fri 30th May: TGF finding Tembo. My little boy had a big adventure today. He must have followed me outside when I was getting the litter from the garage (did shut kitchen door, but evidently not well enough). Had a nightmare 6 hours not knowing where he was (and imagining some horrible possibilities). Had almost given up hope when Alison came to help. I spotted the chocolate he had stolen under my car, the only sign he was outside. After lots of frantic Frosties box shaking...Alison found him in the back of the garage. Was so so so relieved. Know how parents feel now (Mother had a laugh at me later.. I've done it to her twice).

So TGF finding my boy again. TGF Alison's search and capture skills. And TGF his forgiveness that I give up hope and don't trust him.

TGF amazing and lovely moments to treasure. TGF making someone happy with a present. TGF a sense of hope that things will be ok one day... give it time.

so much

Thurs 29th May: TGF answered prayer...for someone to feel better, for them to sleep well, for strength to deal well with difficult situations, for His help day by day to do the best job of caring for someone.
TGF the kinaesthetics of Air. TGF a nap when you're all tired out. TGF lovely shared moments of closeness. TGF pancakes for second breakfast. TGF early morning walks. TGF snails and whatever is on their stalks. TGF church hall cake. TGF 'priceless' oil paintings (lol). TGF Grandma's iron will. TGF the afternoon film showing. TGF ideas for candles. TGF beer and crisps and kicking ass at Articulate. TGF five Creme Eggs for 50p. TGF being able to look after someone and love them in simple ways, like warm socks. TGF being cried on. TGF being rested on.

TGF a lovely couple of days spent with my favourite person.

The streets are paved with gold you know.

Monday 27th May. TGF tesco clubcard vouchers...a day out in London for 16 quid. TGF having a great day and doing loads despite the pouring rain. TGF looking forward to things.

Hundredth Post...Woo Hoo!

Sunday 25th May. TGF playing Wii with an unexpected guest...Sunday afternoon's watching Bond films...Naps in the middle of Bond films...central heating, even though it is May.

From this morning at Beacon... Faith, Hope and Love...and the definition of love. Remember it Harley.

no time to think

Sat 24th May: TGF keeping busy. Although things to not TGF might include the fence being longer than you thought (therefore takes longer to paint...and it was freezing and I was hungry). TGF funny noises...I mean REALLY funny noises that have you LOL for 5 minutes (the kickball noise from Napoleon Dynamite...Ems knows what I mean).

Oily hands

Thurs 1st May: TGF fixing my motorbike in the school car park with the aid of Scott (who is officially my hero and the coolest bloke around, he has the Ewan bike and a Harley).

summer?

Sat 26th April: TGF cutting the grass then sitting in the sun with coffee and a book...and TGF Bill Bryson being so funny.

No point living

April 21st: TGF absolutely nothing. No point being alive. Just counting down the days until I am dead. Then it might be heaven it might be hell it might be nothing. Who knows. Got to be better than this though.

Its genetic

Sun 13th April: TGF my Grandad's shed. One of my fave places as a kid, so much interesting stuff. For some reason the glass balls used to freak me out, and I always thought the crab was going to get me. But...still loved it. Think I get my hoarder qualities from him.

You should be dancing

Sat 12th April: TGF reading in bed in the morning... Daffodils in the sunshine as it came through the blinds..shopping online when you should be doing your accounts...80s Cheese and swinging with Kevin. TGF dancing as though no-one is watching.

TGIF

Friday 11th April: TGF Fridays. Made it to the end of a week at school...always thanking God for! TGF for an easier lesson indoors cos it was raining! TGF the girls on Thursday who thanked me for doing their swimming lesson. TGF having the car for the journey home, as it started lashing it down as I left school. TGF lazy freezer tea in front of a DVD. TGF being able to make someone happy just by giving them chocolate. TGF sleep knowing you haven't got to get up early in the morning.

Beautiful things

Thurs 10th April: Just stumbled across my favourite blog in the world..Three Beautiful Things ... The writer describes 3 things every day that she found beautiful or made her happy or...

So even though in my head its been a crap day and I just want to give up, I'm sure if I think hard I can think of three good things, and remember that it was just one lesson that was awful, and just one person that made me cry with frustration. Here goes (and these are the things I TGF..)

1 - My very own Angel to calm me down on the phone when I'm in tears at the end of my patience, and to give me a hug a short while later.

2 - The feeling of riding my motorbike well

3 - Reminders of happy times, making a photo album for Graeme's birthday

4 - See, its easy. I can think of lots.... Coffee with gingerbread syrup in Wests.

5 - The ever present sense of humour Tim possess...in the face of so much adversity its untrue.

6 - Downloading a new album to listen to in the car

7 - Not knowing why, but still spending my own time looking for dance stuff that might engage the Year 9 girls.

8 - Looking forward to a book in bed ...bible notes, then Long Way Around.

9 - The Harley Davidson picture frame on my desk...with its photo of me and my Uncle Chalkie setting off fireworks on my brithday

10 - Danny doing my washing up for me.

11 - The cool smiley on my phone (the one with shades on!).

12 - Buying myself a Britain tour guide... inspiration for adventures (gotta get brave!)

13 - Minstrels...Mmmmmm

Easy....I so need to do this every day... just takes tears to make me realise what i need to focus on... the good stuff, not the nasty people.

'Night world....I'm off to snuggle up in a duvet with my book

Easter Sunday

Sunday March 23rd: TGF Jesus coming back for his Easter eggs! TGF Mr English (the prison officer who stayed so AW's service could go ahead). TGF healing Uncle Len so he could go home. TGF Gareth, the guy from Grimsby who has my street bible.

Being honest

Sun 9th March: TGF my parents, who dealt very well with big news. TGF feeling peaceful and feeling like God cared at church.

in the moment

Mon 25th Feb: TGF jammies with words on....TGF good moments in a bad day.

chats

Fri 22nd Feb: TGF talking and sorting things out

Wed 20th Feb: TGF chats with mates that leave you feeling chilled about stuff and ready to tackle the world.

Race for Life

Sat 16th Feb: TGF Karen getting my ass in gear...finally managed to get my entry in before its all sold out!

Half Term

Monday 11th Feb: TGF not having to get up and teach Year 9 girls this morning....TGF a fantastic run in the Outwoods instead.

Sunday 12th Feb: TGF fireworks...and fab cameras...and Ruths tripod.

Just need the matching tracksuit...

Tues 5th Feb: TGF waterproof trainers!

His help

Friday 25th Jan: TGF escaping school at 12 to go spend the weekend away...for free!

Thurs 24th Jan: TGF productive days where you can cross off the list lots of nasty jobs that you were putting off...and putting off...and...

Wed 23rd Jan: TGF not spending fifty quid in London to find out that We will rock you is rubbish.....and as a Queen fan it really pains me to say that.

Tues 22nd Jan: TGF friends prayers that see you through tough times. TGF the wooden cross I held in the service and Grandad's magnets he got in a cracker that kept me distracted at the social thing after.

name....

Sunday 20th Jan: On the wall in the prayer space at Hope Hamilton church....

Thank God for who you are

Grandad Fox

Friday 4th Jan: TGF my Grandad. He died today. He just couldn't fight to breathe anymore. He was great. He taught me much and I had a lot to learn from him. He taught me to take care over the things you make and that some things take a long time to complete. I need to learn from him to never complain..however much it hurts or how bad I feel. It must have been so hard for him, yet all we ever heard him say was "Just a minute" as he caught his breath.

I am proud to have been his grand-daughter. I got my taste for Guinness from him, and we both wear woolly hats indoors, to my mother's amusement. I hope I made him proud.

He was a craftsman. He carved wood. He was amazing. I wish that he could have seen my pictures, and told me more about his work, about the squirrel that was his trademark. I have always treasured the cross he made me. So simple for a man of his skill, but so perfectly made, with the same care that went into a claw and ball leg or the cover for a font.

My Grandad was always happy and always offered me a sweet. I still have some here on my desk, that he made me take the last time I saw him. TGF the last Christmas we had together, and that I got to say "see ya Grandad" one last time.